~Time for me to brag a little~ January 28, 2009

We found out today that Tyler made the HONOR ROLL this semester!  His GPA was 3.5!

I am so proud of him! He has worked hard and kept up on all his homework without having to be nagged.  He has really taken pride this year in getting good grades and I love it.  He’s the best.  I love you so much Tyler.

This is a really tiny picture, I realize.  I love this picture though cause he looks so tuff-guy, which is just so him.  I wanted to post a picture of him playing the guitar in his choir concert last week, but I am not smart enough to get the pictures off the disk.

He is the only kid in his choir class who can play the guitar so he and his teacher played to accompany the other students, it was way awesome and the pics are so cute!  I will eventually figure out (or get some help) how to get the pics off the disk and post them here.

Tyler you are fabulous! Congratulations!

~How to know when your child is a genius~

Ahh, Piper.  At the very least she keeps my life interesting.  Another conversation, verbatim.

P: Mom, I am smart.

T: I know you are, very smart.

P: Mom, I’m smart cause I can poop and pee with my eyes shut.

T: Yes, yes you are.

Of course this conversation is actually taking place while she is in fact, pooping and peeing with her eyes shut.

Genius I say!

Something everyone should know… January 19, 2009

So Miss Piper was up with the croup off and on all night last night, so today I tried to keep her chilling out as much as possible, just watching movies and reading books etc.

She wanted to watch Frosty the Snowman for the eleventy sixth time, so I got my book out and was hanging out by her while she watched.  It seemed that she was actually way into Frosty, she was not talking and I was even reading more than one sentence of my book between questions.

All of a sudden, out of who knows where, we have this bizarro conversation…

P: “Mom! Mom! Guess what?

T: “Hmmm?”

P: “Listen to me! I need to tell you sumping! Listen!” Mom!”

T:<puts book down> “Ok, what’s up?”

P: “Dogs lick theyselves.”

T: “Uh…what?”

P: “DOGS LICK THEYSELVES! THEY DO!”

I don’t even know…my kids are so weird.

Marry me, Zeke…Oh wait, that’s creepy.

Thanks to the technical awesomeosity of Zeke, we now know that

“Zeke Says: January 17, 2009 at 4:18 p e

Google “What-is-Arthur” it comes up with some results, the second one down is in “Yahoo-Answers”. Some sort of Arthur-pro tells what everbody on the show is, The artist for Arthur had to shorten up his Aardvark Nose so that when he looked down it wouldn’t cover his mouth. I know this was a bit more technical than anybody probably wanted. If it was, Sorry! Isn’t Barney too gay to be a T-Rex?, plus his Teeth aren’t Sharp! IKnow, I Know, I am being too technical again.”

Amen Brotha!  This was the EXACT same point I made and keep making to prove that Barney is NOT a T-Rex, you are the only person who has understood that sharp teeth are like, pretty much the mark of a T-Rex.  I mean, really, if Barney is a T-Rex, and he came across Baby Bop, who I am assuming is a triceratops, it would be on like Donkey Kong right?

So while it really is kind of sad that Zeke and I seem to have gotten all the reasoning abilities in the family, <coughBENcough> you can all KIND OF console yourselves with your knowledge that Arthur is apparently an aardvark.

~Let’s have a little quiz~ January 15, 2009

So okay.  Everyone knows by now that I am an unwilling victim of childrens television.  With that in mind, let’s talk about Arthur.  Now I love Arthur, don’t get me wrong.  I would rather watch 100 hours of Arthur than one half hour of Yo Gabba Gabba.

My question here is, WHAT EXACTLY IS ARTHUR??

Nick says Arthur is an aardvark, but then Nick also says Barney is a T-Rex.

Talk amongst yourselves.

~The Office~ January 4, 2009

 

Before I open the emotional wounds caused by The Land of Make Believe, I just wanted to say that If you DON’T  think this is the funniest show on television and don’t want to marry pretty much everyone on it, never talk to me again.

~Things that scare the hell out of me, Part One.~

I don’t scare easily.  I haven’t seen a movie that scared me.  Like, ever.  I did read a book (well ok, like 20 of them) about Ted Bundy that scared me.  Ted Bundy fascinates me in a scary way.  I could not read all of Helter Skelter, a fun fact that I am still irritated with myself over.  So basically, there are few things in life that scare me.  However, I have compiled a list (with pics!) of some things that do. And not in a good way like Mr. Bundy.

FIRST UP…

 

Miss Miley Cyrus.  Most people know how I feel about Miley.   If a show like Hannah Montana can be a success and Billy Ray Miley can make eleventy six million dollars a year what does that say about our society? The Apocalypse is nigh! Nigh, I tell you! Nigh!

NEXT…

 

 

 

Rachael Fricking Ray…

Rachael is annoying for many reasons, but here are a few.  She says stupid things that bother me like DELISH, NUTRISH and YUMM-O, she talks with her hands way too much, she uses EVOO Extra Virgin Olive Oil and onions and garlic in everything and her voice and her scary joker smile freak me out.

You know what else freaks me out?  Like Miley, I feel like I am being VOMITED on constantly by the commercialistic(?) money machine that is Rachael Ray.  The woman has more money than God and she’s nothing but a damn tool.

It’s a sad day when someone as not awesome as Rachael can make that much money when here I sit, being all full of awesome with no money.  I can also cook and the things I cook never look like vomit and/or dog food.  I have seen her food and her recipes and I have a sneaking suspicion that the only thing Rachael can cook well is methamphetamines.

Shut up Rachael.

THIRD…

 

Ahh…The Wonder Pets.

Whoever invented this show was into some serious hallucinogens.  It scares me.  If you have not seen this, tune into Noggin and catch it sometime.  One thing about it that makes me laugh, well MADE me laugh, like once, is that the turtle is wearing those water shoes things.  What?

The duck has a really irritating speech impediment and her name is Ming-Ming which leads me to wonder if she is of Asian descent.  Then I get bugged cause I am wondering.

They are evil.  And scary.

AND LASTLY WE HAVE…

 

Come on now.  Does anyone with the exception of Michael Landon believe that any man would have been caught dead in this in the late 1800’s?  Hell, back then showing your ankles was scandalous.  This is totally just a fabricated reason for Michael Landon to show his what I can only assume that someone, somewhere considered hot body.  Possibly the makeup girl he left his wife for was watching off to the right there.

Put your man boobs back in your shirt Michael.  And shut up while you’re at it.

 

Check back for Part Two of this series, which is going to deal exclusively with The Land of Make Believe from Mr. Rogers, which definitely deserves a post all its own as I am pretty sure The Land of Make Believe is the cause of most of the problems in my life.

Squeeee!! January 3, 2009

I don’t know how I missed this fabulous news, but evidently Mr. Bret Michaels’ Rock of Love #2 didn’t work out any better than his Rock of Love #1.  The result?  Oh yeah….

BRET MICHAELS LOVE BUS!! And by Love Bus, I of course mean this whole season will take place with Bret “on tour” with one woman getting dumped off at each town along the way.  Bret in his bus, blondes in a pink bus and brunettes in a blue bus.  No really…

Apparently there ARE 40 more shameless hookers who would do anything for television exposure a chance to be with Bret.  Who knew?

I admit I have an unhealthy addiction to this stupid show.  It’s so unbelievably trashy yet I can’t stop watching.  It makes me feel dirty, but I still tune in each and every week to watch poor Bret try and find a woman.

I thought it was my birthday when Vh-1 started a SECOND season.  This is like Christmas yo!

Seriously now, who wouldn’t want a chance at that???

Privacy is overrated… December 30, 2008

So Miss Piper is seriously like my shadow.  If I get in the tub, she stays in the bathroom and talks, if I go to the bathroom she stays in the bathroom and talks, if I go anywhere, even to get the mail or start my car, she comes with me.  She even sleeps with me.  Most of the time, it’s ok, however…

The other day, I went in to use the bathroom and I locked the door so she would stay out and leave me alone, just once.  So I am in there just a couple of seconds and I see the famous little fingers sticking under the door.  Then the fingers leave and I don’t hear from her for a minute.

Pretty soon I hear someone messing with the lock, rattling the handle and SURPRISE! in walks Piper.  She picked the lock.  For reals.  With a steak knife.

I had to laugh cause the look on her face when she busted in with her steak knife in her hand was just too much.  She was SOOO proud of herself.

I am dealing with the fact that there is NO PRIVACY.  Anywhere.  Ever. 🙂

My Bestie! December 25, 2008

So Nick is so cute.  Seriously, he is awesome.  The other day he said to me, “what are we going to do for New Year’s Eve?”  I was a little thrown cause I just assumed he would go out and I would stay home like I always do. 

He then says “Can we play Apples to Apples ( which is an totally fun game if you haven’t played it btw)  and some games and stuff?”

Honestly, how many 20 year olds want to stay home and hang with their moms on New Years Eve??  He’s so cool!

I love you Nick, you are my BFF!  Thanks for being the great person you are.